This is my 36th week of consecutive newsletters now, and it’s safe to say Friday Film Notes has been a rewarding experiment.
Usually, writing these is a fun, reflective hour or 2 in my week, and a chance to connect with over 11,000 filmmakers from around the world. Pretty sweet.
But there are some days, like today, where I’m feeling overwhelmed with everything on my plate, and this is actually the last thing I want to do.
In fact, this whole week I’ve found myself avoiding writing this until basically the last minute (it’s late afternoon Thursday as I type).
Why is that?
Maybe if I can diagnose myself here, it’ll both help me AND some of you feeling the same way with your own projects.
Why the dread for this issue?
I think it comes down to a combination of a few things:
Burnout Creep
Burnout usually doesn’t hit you all at once, it sneaks up on you, and slowly starts weighing you down until even the tasks you normally enjoy start feeling like Sisyphean burdens.I’ve been juggling a lot of projects lately and feeling a lot of pressure to perform well on all of them. This week I ended my work days feeling a mix of guilt & anger that I wasn’t more efficient or couldn’t get more done. Sort of feels like slowly drowning.
I’m taking steps to stop the drowning – like planning to batch write & record videos, and hiring a part-time virtual assistant for admin duties – and even though these measures will eventually help, for now they’re actually creating way MORE work.
Perfectionism Paralysis
There’s an invisible pressure to make every film, newsletter, or YouTube video better than the last. To offer more depth, more value, be more insightful, etc.
With all that pressure, the simple act of sitting down to write becomes a monumental task.
I’m feeling that the most with the 2 short films I’m planning on shooting this month. I have a looming deadline on 1 of them and still haven’t cracked the story.
It’s been almost a year since my last short, Datsuzoku, so I really want to come correct with these films and give them both incredible stories… But the pressure of “perfect” is poison for writing.Imposter Syndrome
This is inevitable for any creative professional, and I certainly have my moments. Starting a YouTube channel or selling courses about how to make films definitely doesn’t help.
I probably would have talked myself into giving up and hiding my head in the sand if it wasn’t for the overwhelmingly positive feedback from both — thanks for that
So why did I write this newsletter?
Well, I almost didn’t.
I was telling myself I’ve earned a week off. I’ll just say I’m tired and throw a quote in or something. Who cares.
In fact, that’s what I started doing. This newsletter started as a protest to having to type a newsletter.
It wasn’t until I got a few sentences in that I realized this would actually be a pretty good newsletter.
That’s how it always goes.
Once you make that first dent, the fear and worries start dissolving and you can actually get on with it.
Pushing Through
The common advice to “just push through it!” is often not that helpful.
Don’t get me wrong, I still think it’s incredibly important to show up in those dark, doubt-filled moments, but that doesn’t mean you have to brute-force it and finish the whole task.
Find a teeny-tiny bit of it that you might enjoy. Even if it’s something in the middle of the project that haven’t gotten to yet. Just do that.
Sure you’re contributing only a tiny drop to the big bucket of your project, but it’ll make you feel much better than if you don’t contribute anything.
And tomorrow, you’re more likely to add a bigger pour.
A Better Way
Better yet…
Drop your original plan and ask yourself a very valuable question:
“What would this look like if it were fun?”
Is there another way to accomplish what’s on your plate right now, that would make you actually look forward to doing it?
That’s what happened here.
I only started this newsletter to figure out why I didn’t want to do this newsletter. And I now feel much better prepared to tackle the other projects on my plate, while having also gotten this damn newsletter OFF my plate.
And hopefully, this newsletter did its job and helped some of you who may be feeling similarly.
This personal therapy session you’ve been privy to already has me excited to look for ways to transform my other projects into exciting & fun challenges, rather than things I need to “just push through and get done.”
So I guess the TL;DR of this issue is…
It’s okay to feel overwhelmed.
It’s okay to not always be bursting with enthusiasm for your creative projects.
When that happens, re-write the rules to make those projects work for YOU.
You are not a slave to your own ambition.
That’s it for this week.
Let’s make some movies.
-Kent
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